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By Zara Barrie Oct. It was a gorgeously lazy Sunday afternoon, and I felt cozy tucked into my friend Sara's Brooklyn Heights apartment.
Sophie, a striking girl with shiny black ovf, blue eyes the exact color of worn denim and dramatic alabaster skin, was lamenting to us that she can't seem to go out for a night on the town without salaciously locking lips on the dance floor with at least three different men. I will kiss him, but I will wretch.
When I'm shagging, I can just shut my eyes and get on with it," confessed posh little Amanda, a petite, proper, private-school-educated year-old trust-fund. What's more intimate, shagging or kissing?
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I was the lone American girl in this sea of English girls, but I've called London home in my early to mid 20s and was raised by a bonafide English mother. I've cultivated an English group of girlfriends in my hometown of New York, and I unabashedly adore English makw.
They tend to lack the inherent cattiness of American girls, attain the ability to make me laugh so hard that tea flies out of my nostrils and have far less hang-ups and issues than us anxious, complicated American girls myself included. Kisses are far more intimate than sex.
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English girls are just more real, you know? Fof I was hardly surprised when I was pressed with this bitingly real, blazingly honest, no-holds-barred question: Is kissing more intimate than sex?
It's always the seemingly simple question that's the most wildly complex and loaded with deeper hidden implications. Within seconds, I found myself deeply reflecting back on my own sexual encounters.
I recalled all the times I've had inebriated, empty, hazy, vodka-tonic-fueled sex with faceless human beings when I was a single wild card floating around single, wild bars in my single, wild early 20s. They're not moments I can remember kut clearly, though. They were so vapid and so empty and so brutally inificant that they neglected to make a real dent in my memory. Suddenly, I had a rapid-fire flash of all the passionate kisses I've shared with people I've loved, and those memories are the crystal clearest.
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I've loved nothing more than lying with my partners like a pair of parentheses, immersed in a cozy, full-sized bed, exchanging kisses. It's as if they've been their own secret language, and through them I've been able to adequately express all the emotions that were sorely impossible to describe using something as limiting as words. Cnat doesn't always need feelings. The hard kff is, you can have sex without even looking your sexual partner in the eye.
But kisses are built on nothing but feelings.
I went into a quiet state of acute pondering right there on the couch. I started to realize when you're kissing, you have nothing in the world to hide behind.
You're at your most vulnerable. When else is your face so direly close to another's? When else in your life are you in a situation when you have the opportunity to look at another person so closely? When else do you literally find yourself sharing the same breath after all, breaths are the force of life!
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The greater, deeper, looming question is: What exactly is intimacy? Is it strictly sexual? True intimacy is revealing the rawest, real, most stripped-down version of yourself to your partner.
It's allowing your formerly protective self to get close to another person, both physically and mentally. Kissing encompasses all of that. Kissing is the great metaphor for intimacy. We allow the essence of a person to land on our tongues, and as we kiss, we breathe each other in -- the good and the bad.
Any one of these kisses is rich with healing powers. Any one of them allows me to work through my deep-rooted issues with vulnerability and my fear of exposing the softer sides of myself by letting someone into the most yot part of my body: my mouth. While kissing can be madly sexual and most definitely segue into the most mind-blowing sex in the stratosphere, kissing, by itself, is loaded with far more makr and meaning than sex.
You can't lock lips with another human for endless hours unless you have feelings for him or her beyond the realm of sexual attraction.
And that, my sweet kittens, is a triumph far more intimate than simple, nameless, removed sex could ever be.