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Quotes Margaret : Hi, Ted. I'm Margaret. You sound down.

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Is your New Year's not starting off well? Ted the Bellhop : No, Margaret. This New Year's Eve is not starting off well! This one is going pretty fucking badly!

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Margaret : How come? Ted the Bellhop : Well, Betty leaves me to run this entire hotel by myself. And first thing, right off the bat, I get fucked by a coven of witches! Margaret : You got fucked by an oven full of witches?

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Well, one witch in particular! Margaret : Vuck, was she an old hag with a mole on her face with hair growing out of it? Ted the Bellhop : Well It was pretty bloody good, actually Margaret : Sounds like a pretty great way to start off the night to me. Vuck the Bellhop : Why don't we just skip over the witches? Margaret : Skipping the witches There's his hooligan kids snapping their fingers at me.

There's a putrid, rotting corpse of a dead whore stuck in the springs of the bed. There's rooms blazing afire.

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There's a big fat needle from God knows where, stuck in my leg, infecting me with God knows what. And finally there's me, walking out the door, right fucking now. Buenas noches. Ted the Bellhop : Problem?

I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Chester : Okay, Ted, pay attention here.

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I'm going to make two piles on the bar. One pile which is yours.

And what you have to realize is we're gonna do this thing one way Chester : Shh! I'm the closer here.

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All right, I'm a little me - um, I've lost count. How much is on the bar here? Group : Six hundred.

Chester : Okay, Ted, do you know how long it takes the average American to count to ? Ted the Bellhop : No, sir. Chester : About one minute less than it takes to count to Now Ted, a person's life is filled with a zillion little experiences.

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Some which are inificant, have no meaning, and, you know, you forget them. Others which you remember for the rest of your natural life. Now, since what we're proposing here is so unusual, so outside the norm, this is a good bet that is going to be one of those incidents that sticks. So, since you're gonna be stuck remembering this for the rest of your life, you have to decide what that memory will be.